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Sugarpeas Vol. 8: July 2015

by The Yeti

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    This is Volume 8 of my 365/Song A Day challenge which will be finished on December 5th, 2015.

    Fave Tracks:#208, #210, #216, #217, #220, #221, #231, #232, #236
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1.
Can’t you see that I’m building a better man I’ve got the working parts that we scrapped from the accident Less accident, more incident We need a better battle plan Systems online, and sequenced power lights and he’s got dead eyes, but he is not blind And he’s the answer, to equations If we keep his heart, can we save him Can’t you see that we’re upgrading everything We’ve got hours till updates are made complete He’s got motors underneath his skin He’s learning to use his muscles again
2.
Get up, just do it Get up, before you lose it No time to sleep No time to eat Circuits overloaded Hard reboot PC Load Letter? …whatever
3.
Under a towering staircase over the Colorado Bridge Singing along with my headphones stolen umbrella close Don’t want to see anybody I dread the feeling of getting close I see disorders are forming You can look but you cannot touch Under a double rainbow blessing true loves winning shot In the crosswalk, I took a photo I can only hope that it gets lost
4.
Ive got no will to move Might stay in bed today I’m getting stuck on my thoughts My mind is easy prey I tried to battle my demon It sunk its teeth into my skin It tore my body to ribbons But at least it left my hands
5.
Teach myself to take responsibility as simple as that
6.
I saw the note that I wrote you last night , it was crumpled, tossed aside as if you knew that the words I had spewed, were a curse that would burn your eyes You’re too high, You’re too low to hear this And so am I , but I’m so desperate to say it You can see my life all up my sleeve , but the ink has yet to dry and the image that I’ve burned of you, is an exaggerate, beautiful lie I am a raw nerve, reacting to every little thing and I am just a joke to you, funny until I’m boring as if you find me in a book, full of so many others and you think you get the setup, so you simply closed the cover I cant say I’m any better, but you simply have to know I love you, I’m leaving cause I’m scared to watch you go
7.
Bill Murray ain’t my father but we share our last name and maybe if I’m lucky I can stake my claim to fame So I try to write these songs for old lovers and new flames So you can write dating me at the top of your resume and the kids I used to know will all remember my name and the kids I never knew will all be saying it too So you can say you knew the Yeti but “Did he really know you?”
8.
I don’t want to sleep cuz I don’t want to wake up from my dreams where the world ends with me and it’s all gone black but its easy to breath I don’t see friends and I don’t see you in the crumbling world I see faceless strangers and the kind of danger that would make your toes curl and I don’t really wanna be here or there in the waking morning Forget the losses I just want to sleep through the early mourning
9.
Here we are Lying on open concrete And drops cascade around our heads Its better to struggle Its better to squirm Then take the boot heel to the head I know that we Haven’t room to maneuver We cant afford a pair of hands or legs You’ll likely find me Split into pieces The same romantic thoughts in 16 heads Or dried out Too far on the sidewalk Shriveled up and stepped on Dead
10.
I never would’ve noticed but you pointed it out and every night without her is a night spent with doubt and I burn through every day just like I’m burning through calories and when I’m desperate for your kiss I’ll stay at home licking batteries You know how I get when I get no sleep Wish I was writhing but under your sheets I’d like to talk you right out of your clothes spending a night where we’re trading low blows I guess I’m kind of jealous of the people you meet Cuz at least they have a chance but Ive been caught in your teeth I suppose there’s other options, there’s no reason to play but Ive no motivation so I might as well stay Give me a wink if I’m turning you on No need for a romance, I’m gone when you want Alright I guess that its time to move on, so we can find time for the things that we want
11.
Emptied my wallet You called it, you called it just give it to bad luck He’s got my back It’s not like I want this but I called it, I called it before it had happened bad luck on my end I wont give you anymore bad luck ring rolling on the floor I made a mistake I called it, I called it but I will learn from it sometimes shit happens
12.
So many detours red and blue on the corners I'm just trying to get through but the maze is a gamble will I pass out at green lights will I swerve into street lights will I speed into tail lights will I see red and blue lights
13.
One pretty face to forget them all She fell down and found a precarious pedestal I couldn’t really say what the attraction was but even broken dolls can be brutally loved Is love what we’re calling it now? She tried to insist there was none to be found Every boy wants to lift that shroud to prove to themselves that the world should be proud One pretty face to forget them all and still they would gather at her beck and call She never let on she wanted anything more but every tale would end with “it was always her fault” Just let her go
14.
I’m pulling chunks from the concrete I’m taking every road that I trail behind me I’m looking in the mirror just to see if you’re following but I know my worst fear is another fantasy I’m tearing up our spot in the Culver’s parking lot where I would pick you up on the nights “When you getting off?” I never come this far anymore I’ve given up Fuck this whole town, I would say it’s a good loss And even getting better is a relative term I’m feeling better than the strays that litter your neighborhood but I can feel the scars that we left on my body and if I could forget, every body reminds me we’re living in a small world, a smaller city I’m only passing through, for the few that need me I’ll always have this pain, though our quest is over the Yeti will live on as a hero forever more I get nothing but their praise, and I know they do adore I feel nothing but your blade, when I can’t feel anymore so get me on a plane, first flight to Valinor I hope there’s better days for me here on middle-earth
15.
This could be a really crappy show I’m not sure I wanna go but I guess I have to go, oh no no None of us has ever been before are their tickets at the door Who knows of course Captain Wails and the Harpoons are coming to your town soon and we’re jamming it out with the Youthful Nothings At least that was the plan, but couldn’t plan a thing A Bad Night For A rock band could be happening
16.
You cant tell Even if they torture you With the threat Of looking at her old photos Oh so now You have made me an accomplice Write this down Here is how we both survive this
17.
Promise, I’m okay Come down here with me Live in the city Why don’t you believe… I swear I’m better Light as a feather Lets be together Don’t say its over There’s a dark cloud over my bed She couldn’t stand raindrops on her head Why would she leave something good just to do it? Why would I lead her astray just to ruin? I swear I’m okay “That’s nice, now leave me” Its not surprising After everything I did I’m okay
18.
Death rides behind me for at least a few miles waiting for a hiccup when he could take me when he wanted Love has blinded me has me begging for mercy I’m ready for another feeding she can treat me how she wants it Love might be the death of me Death might be my lovely Just let me love before I die and die before love leaves me
19.
Everyone’s wearing the face of my enemy Ive never seen him before But surely hes out for me I know I cant judge I wont budge on the issue Hes the one that you want And hes great end of story But this is my song and i say that hes boring And maybe hes stupid Maybe hes ugly But that only means Im an ass and Im petty I dont understand why nobody loves me Because Im an ass And most of all petty
20.
Do you see me Do you hear me at all? But what am I saying? Anything at all? I am just a jealous boy I don’t want them So I don’t get the prize I’m not sure why But Ive no reason to try I still want you I know it doesn’t mean shit I’m just expressing these feelings Though I’m sure you’ve had enough of it
21.
I’m only feeling good when I’m causing destruction Or maybe when its good I feel I need an eruption A drink just for the night Is just an excuse for excess And your hand over my thigh Is good as long as nobody sees us I’d stop it if I cared But I prefer the attention Whats the point of all these feels If no one cares when I mention them
22.
How could I be winning if I always feel so shitty Oh my life is such a pity cause I wasted it on feelings I just had to say hello I just had to get to know I just had to kiss your lips I just couldn’t let you go I truly am pathetic I know better, but I don’t get it There’s no half way, in between there’s only lying to myself
23.
And once I’ve cut you out, what will be left of me? and once the fire’s out, what is there left to see? I’ve filled this journal with my deepest fears When you have gone, will this pain always be here? Did I waste my best years treading all these tears? Make me numb, make me colder Take my voice, and make me silent Take it all, and if you don’t want it Just throw it out, with the trash on the corner “And what’s he on about?”, “Has he got no reason?” Just let me work it out, until I’m out of fingers I’ve filled this journal with all my deepest fears If I can’t feel a thing was it worth losing those years Did I vacate the premises but leave my body here
24.
Twist your insides Spill your guts Here we push you to your limits tell us when you’ve had enough Fear of success Keeps you chained up Here you never need to worry You’ll quit before you’re in the money Stay disastrous Keep your hazards Don’t let them weigh you down You’ll find a way out of this town
25.
Clicking your ruby red heels Wont get you home from here Stumbling from her neighborhood wishing you could disappear I ran the red lights extinguished my headlights and knew that I just might never see you tonight There’s no place like home but I’m hardly ever there Unless I’m hiding under covers and wishing I didn’t care I have the nightmares I have illogical fears I really wish that one of us would disappear
26.
Ill take the low road And hope that no one follows me Find it hard to be alone 1-2-3 eyes on me I’m still recovering from things that never happened I’m still obsessing over last years change of fashion But Ive still got the headphones Ive still got the vinyl Ive still got the sneakers At least for awhile I think I’ve changed for the better And after all the bad shit I was worried that Id never I used to worry you would die in someone else’s arms I used to worry I was nothing but a time bomb And now I think, i know, I’m almost ready to explode Ive got so much potential and I think its time to go I’m aiming for the moon But if I miss and find myself among the stars I wont be missing kissing you inside my saturn when we talked about our future just before I dropped you off We hardly said a word on the night I sent you off I will be happy with no one At least that seems, to me, to be where all of this going At least Ill have my friends At least Ill have my family At least I have this moment All alone but I’m not lonely Recently
27.
No, I don’t know what to say you’re the one who stepped away Guess I’m good I’ll be okay There I go, it’s not about me I’ve considered joining you would there be room up there for two But in the end you said no words Guess we weren’t too close then, were we huh? I’ve got all these books for you and Claudio’s new album too There’s so much here that we could do If I had made the time I’ve considered joining you Would anyone care, maybe a few The problem isn’t quantity Sometimes I don’t care about anything
28.
Knick Knack Paddy Wack
29.
Two middle fingers for the torrid month of July Another dampened shirt glued to my back as I drive I could be throwing back vodka with the library girl instead I’m begging for money from my laundrymat mother I have never been better as far as I’d like to remember The birthdays, the work days the cheap dates, two pay days I am always getting in my own way Such high percentages but no ones interested so many odd jobs I keep my time invested Got a good review from parking lot girl Well she’s more than that we used the backseat like an underscore
30.
Before the court I stand accused, Of suicide, by loving you The evidence: my heart abused, but if you were in my shoes you’d beat it too I am not elegant I am not understood I am not perfect, but I have earned this Don’t I deserve a worthless love I think I’ve always been this way, Let’s see just what the jury says I’m clearly past my third offense, Lucky for me its the minimum I am guilty, of harboring feelings its treason on myself give me the strongest poison on your shelf I’ve got my eyes on you but if that is a crime that means you’re accomplice to
31.
I’m not ready you cant make me the last minute man I’ve got a show yes, yes, I know I’ll go when I go I’m running late how’d this happen why didn’t you tell me great

about

This is Volume 8 of my 365/Song A Day challenge which will be finished on December 5th, 2015.

This was inspired by a need to write and express myself during a tough time in my life and by a heart-shaped box filled with love notes.

These songs are my notes for her and notes for myself to keep track of this journey that I'm on.

I don't expect anything to come of it. I don't expect anyone to like it. I'm just hoping to feel better once it's all over...

Fave Tracks:#208, #216, #217, #220, #231, #236

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released August 5, 2015

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The Yeti Colorado Springs, Colorado

Solo project featuring the frontman of A Bad Night For A Hero.
The Yeti writes deeply personal and melancholy music because he can and because there's no other place to go...

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