1. |
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I love how you love me
Even when I'm down
Like you hear me crying
On the far side of town
I need you
I love how you love me
I hope you do now
Even with your new boy
On your side of town
I need you to be
Happy
I love how you love me
Boy, I feel dumb now
You were always there for me
When I drove to your town
I need you to be
Happy without me
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2. |
Sugarpea #2 Perspectives
00:56
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Can this be real?
How should I feel?
What is my deal?
I dont know but I can't get off of you
I made you feel
Perhaps to kill
To self fulfill
My stupid little prophecies
Am I crazy? Yeah I might be
Yeah, I love you. But what exactly does that mean?
Lets keep it real
I hope you feel
Like you can deal
Without me making you feel bad
You mad at me?
Left you to sink
Is what you think?
I dont know, we'll never talk again
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3. |
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I have these dreams where you're constantly screaming at me
Come save me, you jerkhead, come save me, come save the day
And I come in swinging to hold you and kiss your head
I drove across town to lay with you in your bed
I know its selfish, I know I can't help it
I wish you were cold so would take my jacket
And I'm just a boy you're most likely annoyed with
I'm just the villain who stole all your kisses
I want you to be happy, just wish you were happy with me
Trailing blood from this open wound for everybody to see
Because I'm just so jealous
I'm just so angry
I'm just so angry
At no one but me...
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4. |
Sugarpea #4 Believe Me
01:04
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|
It's really funny
What just occurred to me
I keep on pleading
For you to just believe me
I never meant to
Hurt you or drive you away
But I've been begging for
more than I ever gave
You said you love me
And I did not believe
Thought you were clinging
To the worst person ever: me
I pulled the rug
Afraid you'd pull it first
And was surprised
I got a faceful of dirt
I keep on pleading
For you to believe me
But I couldn't return the favor
When you said that you love me
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5. |
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I just don't think that I would want to feel it again
I just don't think that I could ever trust myself again
I've been numb and I've been dumb
I think I've always been
Never should have had
Never want to feel this way again
Never should have had
Don't you wish that we had never met
I'm not cut out for love
These songs are all I'll leave behind
I can't know otherwise
Might make me sick and die
I won't touch you, I won't feel you, I won't know you anymore
I can't see you, I can't call you because
We cannot trust me anymore
We should never have opened the door
Don't you wish you had never seen me before?
Because you do not love me anymore.
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6. |
Sugarpea #6 Hotel Song
01:56
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You think I want to, I have to, wait for you
I'm keeping this room, with the doors, all wide open
And you're on your way home.
You need me? Here's hoping
But I'm just a hotel room
Saving this space for you
And if you can't sleep tonight
I've made this bed for you
And me
And nights when, they need me, the mask that I'm wearing
Is just how I, hide my shame, that you won't see me
And these doors are open, you know there's room for you
But you're sleeping elsewhere
The bed you have chosen
I'm just a hotel room
Saving this space for you
And if you can't sleep tonight
I've made this bed for you (me)
And I'm just a superhero
Who doesn't know how to save you or me
But you're doing fine, on your own there, without me...
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7. |
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Sugarpea #7
Yeah this ones here for me
Im heading out to Denver
Alone but not lonely
There's plenty of ghosts today
But not in my backseat
I think I need this
A psuedo death
I need to step inside this cave
Not sure I want this
But where to go, there's nowhere else
And there's nothing left behind me...
Ill pack up some food and comics
Me, Natasha, and Shelby
Ill make some friends tonight
And spend a few hours dancing
Maybe have a drink or two...
A drink or three
Chris Conley you're the hero
Id like to be...
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8. |
Sugarpea #8 Celia
03:25
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"He only wanted one thing: to be in love. But he didn't know with whom. He started thinking of all the girls he knew..."
-Vampire Loves by Joann Sfar
Stephie? Forget it. Don't pull those stitches. Shes better off now without me
She has a new boy, I had to block her out. I no longer mean a thing
Well maybe Alli? crazy about me. and I have a love for all her art
But she doesn't dance, too young and not advanced. Too cute and lives too far
Desiree is pretty sweet. And we've got history. But we cant keep a simple beat.
I'd like to kiss her but there's this splinter telling me not to be a creep...
Then there's El. Smart, strong, and gorgeous as hell. I feel I'm drawn to her. Yo, Its almost primal. Word? I thought she felt it too, ready for something new
But I wouldn't do her any good.
No good for anyone. Thought that was understood
I'm trying hard to make it known
I'm just a bad taste, if you don't know it, you should
Like Steph, its best you just move on
But I danced with Celia, last night in Summit hall
We sang and held each other to almost every song
And she put her arms around me and there was nothing wrong
And I felt strangely happy, a stranger understood me
And she wasn't running screaming, she wasn't there pretending
And it wasn't just Chris Conley, and i didnt dare say anything
We were too busy screaming, too busy whispering
crushed beneath the waves oh CJ please just behave, oh you haven't learned a thing since you had that Sarah fling, and made out drunkenly with Becca, brit, and Vicky
And my tongue has new maneuvers but this shiz is getting tricky
And Sophie's words they hit me, yeah I'm always on self loathing
This music is my life because my love just isn't working
If you're out there Celia, and you want to dance again
Or you want to hold my hand Or you're looking for a friend
Or you're looking for a fuck, that spark is lit and up
Baby I would sing to you, any song to fit your mood
Thanks for dancing with me, you made me feel good
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9. |
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I won't be needing advice anymore
I know why we're not together
I just want you more
I'm breaking it down
Staying logical, cool
I'm never gonna know for sure but I've got plenty to do
If I could just leave my bed
If I could get out of my head
Wake me up, snap me out of it
Because none of this matters without context.
I think I need to buy a new bed
But its hard when I'm sleeping instead
Sleeping with you, not sleeping again
I've never slept with her, but I'm working on it
Don't pull this tag
I'm losing time that I just don't have
Holding onto every scrap I can
Tomorrow, ya I know, we'll do it better
If I don't shut my eyes and go to sleep forever.
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10. |
Sugarpea #10 Dorothy
01:26
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|
"I find you incredibly handsome"
Is what she told me
That's what I needed to hear that Halloween
Just not from some strange girl
Leaving for the navy
The sentiment is there just not how I want
I'd like a cosmic awakening with my beer
Just not in this restaurant
Just not here
It hasn't been the same and things have been pretty bad
Since you left...
But I know they'll get better
Better next year
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11. |
Sugarpea #11 Backslid
01:51
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Backslid
Out of my room
And in to darker space
Entangled
Infatuated
With things that I can't reach
Dreaming
Too busy sleeping
As I travel through the stars
Shake shake and shock it
In my makeshift rocket
Landed in my backyard
Backslid
From where we started
We'll say we never met
I'm lonely
Depressed again
But there's a difference, yeah
I know better
I know much better
Who should be sleeping in my bed
No one but me
I guess we'll see
Been blocked but I'll get in
Been blocked but I'd let you in
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12. |
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You were my dream
A magic pixie girl
I'm not sure what that means
Empty hollow words
I fall for you
Wonder why it hurts
You're bored and I'm boring
We try to make it work
I know better
You're not some fantasy
You've got your heart
You've got your own dreams
She thinks that I'm
Just putting up walls
But I can't love
So I'm warning the world
Tear down the billboards
I'm letting you know
You're beautiful, no doubt
But you deserve more
I know better
You're not some fantasy
You've got your heart
You've got your own dreams
And you should know
I'm not what I seem
Or maybe I am
A heartless machine
I guess we'll see...
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13. |
Sugarpea #13 Volume 11
01:50
|
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Volume 11, take me to heaven
I'd like to see if there's
A place where I can kick and scramble for hours
And not have to dig myself out of these flowers
Desire has bloomed and I have assumed
The "crash and burn" position
What's been discerned, struggled to learn
Is sometimes you just have to listen
Volume 11, please take me to heaven
I'd like to see if there's
Room for me on the family tree
Or will I be a big fucking tombstone
Could I not be regret or some young girl's nightmare
Surely not some dumb parable
Could I not be the story or perfect example
Definition of the word "terrible"
I just wanted to be the last boy you would love
Like the best and well read final volume
If you could "Would someone tell Stephanie that I love her?"
should be scribed on the front of my tomb...
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14. |
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I could get a date
Think I prefer the weight
Of you looking over my shoulder
Oh I hope you will think of me
Every time you tell him to roll over
Oh, did you read my apology?
Oh, did it make you feel anything?
I could get a date
But I just really hate
Arguing against my own opinion
"Is this legitimate?"
"I'm really feeling this?"
"I'm not, no I'm not, this is hideous!"
Oh, did you read my apology?
Oh, did it make you feel anything?
I've learned so much since you've left
Love will never be in my grasp
I'm getting used to it now
Before I'm old and whining how...
I couldn't get a date
Years later here I wait
Hoping that next call is you
If it's not then I guess I am screwed
I'll live without love
I'll live without you too
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15. |
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|
Its up to you, what we do
Pick you up for a night for two
Can't stand always looking over my shoulder
Every time I wanna drink you wanna come over
And I'm never gonna live this one down
Everyone is standing around
I'm always gonna let you down
Shouldn't you have learned by now?
Its up to you, what we do
I'm just anxious and feeling cruel
I'm not looking for an obvious romance
Looking for a beer cuz I've run out of chances
And I'm never gonna live this one down
Everyone is standing around
I'm always gonna let you down
Shouldn't you have learned by now?
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16. |
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|
Play the chord, the one that sounds like love
I'll tell the bartender when I've had enough
Only problem is I'm not sure where to stop
That's a lie, I want the pain
I think I've earned enough
I know this can't be real
Because her voice doesn't sound just like Kim Deal's
I know this could never be
She doesn't play guitar like Charlotte Hatherley
No prize, for boys who lie
And lie drunk on your sofa
No prize, for boys who cry
Out for love when you invited them over
No prize, for scumbag boys
Who try to impose their own motives
But your eyes, god dammit, your eyes
Have me starting this over and over
And I know its not worth the pain
Cuz she's not beating on my heart like Emily Haines
And I know that this can't be
Because she doesn't write songs like Imogen Heap
I know I'm selfish, I know I'm a creep
But I'm telling you now before you're in too deep
I'll find something to love
I better start with me...
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17. |
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|
I wanna call her "Polly"
Cuz that's the last name that she gave to me
I wanna say I'm sorry
For every crude line you put up with from me
And oh, my darling
I hope you understand what you mean to me
You're oh, so lovely
I hope that you can find everything that you need
I can see you bleeding
It's about time that we tended those wounds
And if I saw you smiling
Well its about time and its never too soon
And oh, my darling
You're working all the time, its what you need to do
But oh, my darling
Holding all this weight won't do your back any good
Oh, my darling
I wish that I could do what you did for me
I'm hoping you can find the peace you need
I'm sorry that my hands are always out of reach
I'll be anything that you want me to be
But you are everything that you'll ever need
Just know, my darling
I'll do anything if it helps you believe
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18. |
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|
I'll be on the curb, looking at the stars
(Burning flesh and speeding cars)
Do I have the strength to carry on?
(They'll cover up the tread marks)
And you'll be forgiven
For all the times I was betrayed
For every mistake I ever made
For every love that brought me pain
It's all the same,
I am to blame
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19. |
Sugarpea #19 Unstable
02:19
|
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Hey I was hoping to make out with you when I suggested that movie for two
cuddle up on my bedroom floor, fall asleep the minute I get bored
Hey, it just occurred to me that when you're saying "Yes" and flake
you're saying "Stay away from me"
Oh, please shut up
It never worked for me, pulling all my cards, and playing the "celebrity"
I wish we'd stop pretending, we all get a happy ending,
that we're supposed to chase it, when all the signs are negative
Hey, it didn't just occur to me, that most girls that I meet are honestly just not that into me
And that's okay, but I struggle with this dichotomy.
I'm young and hung, and should fuck every girl I see: It sets me up for failure and it kills my self esteem
I'm popular and talented: This should be so easy but it has NEVER worked on anyone, and makes me feel sleazy
On the flipside, you should show your softer side: Find a feeling with some meaning, before you put your dick inside
But any love I've ever had was years apart
Tonight I just want sloppy kisses and a hand under your shirt
There's just too many rules and it's all fucking game And I am so unstable, every girl should stay away
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20. |
Sugarpea #20 Coals
02:18
|
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Two black coals sitting in my head
Where my eyes should have been
Consider this a christmas gift
From an ex, that no one shipped
I still had to work
With these charcoal eyes
Stood behind the counter
Where I laid between your thighs
After talking in the parking lot, where I made you cry
After you killed me in the imax
For my retaliatory bite
This is how villains are made
Id rather suffer than learn from my mistakes
Secretly I hope you hate me
Id rather no one knew Im burning in vain
Two black coals
That wont ever forget
Leaning in to kiss you
(Leaning through your window)
With my hand between your legs
After that time I drove to your house and you held me while I cried
After that dinner date on Valentines when we both had realized
I am just an asshole with his selfish dead end dreams
And you were just a little girl
Who deserved a lot more than me
Im sorry, Stephanie
But i know that you know that
But I remember our last touch, when I turned my face
I did it so youd detach from me
So you wouldn't choose to wait
But the last night that I played your song
I almost cried on stage
Two black coals with flames gone out
And pictures of Stephanie Wade
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21. |
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"Tips to remember when you're self destructing"
a helpful guide to lead you when your brain stops functioning
All the answers are in your head
but I'll tell you what you want to hear, so you can act on them
It's so much easier to give me the reigns
so you can hand responsibility to me instead
Here's your first test / what do you do
when a cute girl approaches, says she's into you
the problem being that you're just not into her
and you're a moody sob who just got burned
do you A? Have sex with her
or maybe B-ehave and gently let her down
Or C? Tell her you're not interested
in romantic situations where your heart is invested
and then have sex with her? I mean you could
The answer is D, Run like hell
Because you've got so many issues and this girl can't tell
she'll want to stick around and make you better
and I'll be damned, I'll be fucked, if I'm going to let her
Excuse me I'm imposing again but this guide is here for you
so here's some helpful tips instead
Don't fall for people you don't really know
Like every girl you meet? Oh that's a low blow
Okay, fall a little, just don't obsess
and don't discredit your emotions just to placate someone else
And just remember you're a really cool guy or girl
and when your lover leaves, you don't have to be insecure
It's just their need and it doesn't mean you failed
but that's another chapter: Crash and Burn or Bail
Oh and don't ever call your ex, they'll make you cry
but if you messed up you should apologize
Don't expect them to come back to you
but if you're honest you can cauterize those wounds
Just stick with me I will be your guide
stick me in your back pocket, far from prying eyes
If you're confused well so am I
but I'm here for the low low price of a burger and fries...
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22. |
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|
Improvised
|
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23. |
Sugarpea #23 Hacked
00:33
|
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|
I've been hacked
Don't know how to fix it
Call Jack
He can save us all
No contact
I'll have to do it myself
But I'm daft
And I've been hacked
This is whack
|
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24. |
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So your / boyfriend hates me / doesn't /know we're out
doesn't / know we're soul mates / must be new in town
we're both / sex deprived / sex craved /girl and guy
I know / that you're taken / you know / who's on my mind
Date with my muse / as always / slightly amused /at how we
like to construe / what's going on
Ya Gotta move on / she tells me / I'm gonna move on / when I'm ready
the love of your life /Stephanie's / gone
So I / go out for drinks/ everybody's there
we're all / drunk and laughing / who's that/ girl right there?
No sex / since we broke up / why the / fuck do you care
every / one is getting / more action / who cares
Ashley / brings a cute girl / and a /creeper too
Cute girl / knows arcade fire/ lives in/ Montreal
I got / bored and tired/ they all / want in her bra
and Ashley / is scared of creeper / calls me / to fend him off
she has / the worst taste in men / obsessed / with real jack offs
Date with my friends / has left me / frozen and broke /but laughing /
give me that super / novacaine
Date with your friends / has left you / stumbling drunk
and crying / I'm taking you home / Go sleep it off
Date with my muse / has left me / thinking of you
has left me / thinking of you / as usual
Ya Gotta move on / she tells me / I'm gonna move on / when I'm ready
Haven't you heard? /Stephanie's / gone
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25. |
||||
|
Chapter 25
He leapt from his burning car
limping up her driveway, holding his dead arm
The world was on it's very last day
And the last thing he wanted was to see her face
Surprisingly, she came out her door and straight into his path
She looked determined and powerful holding her bags
Panting, he pleaded. "Wait! If the world is truly ending there's something I need to say!"
She nodded at him patiently with her soft loving eyes
He smirked and thought he had won as blood soaked his pants and thighs
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled list he'd made
Once unfolded, he proclaimed:
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
I love that you're a punk
I love that you can draw you just choose not to
I love that you're an actress
I love those three little moles on your arm
I love your delicious lemon squares
I love how you say "Peaches"
I love how much you love classic monster movies
I love how you'd come over just to fall asleep with me
I love how you'd never admit that wrestling title is mine
I love your soft skin it is so divine
I love how much you love Kristen Wiig
I love how you simultaneously love and hate the misfits
I love your shitty van and kissing you in it
I love how you'd always make me get you off
I love your laugh and I miss it all the time
I love your love for Dairy Queen
I love your love for all things creepy
I love how you coo when you're happy
I love your cuddles
I love your boobs
I love how you'd call me 'you little shit' when you're in a good mood
Blonde, red, brunette, I love your hair
I love you being you
I just love you"
He looked up...
And there was nobody there
He had wasted his final breath
On a girl who no longer cared
|
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26. |
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|
New Year ringing it in again
New Year I'll be drinking with all my friends
Here's hoping its better than the last one
Here's hoping I get a lot more shit done
Here's hoping you're happy
Cuz I'm not but you should feel something
Here's hoping my head is in a better place
New Year and new doors opening
New Year resolutions are lame
A whole year? I can change any day
New Year to work my way up to "okay"
|
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The Yeti Colorado Springs, Colorado
Solo project featuring the frontman of A Bad Night For A Hero.
The Yeti writes deeply personal and melancholy music because he can and because there's no other place to go...
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